How to be social like Tony Stark even if you are introverted.
We have heard before that it is important to have a good network; but let’s face it, our networking skills most of the time suck. We enjoy watching Tony Stark talking and grabbing the attention of people and we would like to have at least 10% of his charisma. However, we can’t seem to even make ourselves to say hi to a stranger at a party and we pretend to be busy with our smartphones.
What if I told you that social skills are exactly that; a skill. Something that needs to be practiced. If we want to have more interesting conversations for getting a better job or even to make a move on that person you been checking out at the party, you need to up the ante and start learning the game. Here are a few points that will help you better connect with people.
Be genuine. I know what you’re thinking. This is an obvious stupid point. However the reason most people fail at networking is that they are always looking to get something from the other person. Be it a job. A phone number, information, etc. As of now you probably don’t have the billions to be a narcissistic doucebag like Tony Stark and you probably should just take the positive things about his personality. Always be mindful of the other person. In conversations, always 80% of the time you should be asking questions. I have gone to the extent of practicing this by writing down and memorizing basic questions that can lead to a genuine 10 minute conversation.
Be useful. Society values people that can be useful. Don’t just say “people should just like me for me” for a deeper explanation of why check out this amazing piece on cracked. Always be in the look out to be useful to the other person which you could easily find out if you practice the art of shut up and listen. You don’t have to be an expert on anything just solve the persons problem or point them to a resource that might help them solve the problem such as a book or a referral to someone in your network that can solve the problem for them. The key is to always give something to the other person without expecting anything in return and maybe one day it may come back to you in a good way, but more important you would have another friend.
Practice. This change won’t come easily or fast, but there is ton of information out there on how to improve your social skills. On of my favorite books that I highly recommend is How to make friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. This book is timeless and the principles it teaches.